


Baby One More Time

by ClarkeGriffinIsMySpiritAnimal



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Best Friend's Brother, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/M, Fluff and Smut, I'm Bad At Tagging, Minor Character Death, Modern Setting, Past Relationship(s), or something like that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:50:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3839443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarkeGriffinIsMySpiritAnimal/pseuds/ClarkeGriffinIsMySpiritAnimal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Her eyes met Bellamy's dark ones. 'Four weeks. If it doesn't work out, you have to find something else, okay?' A soft smile played at his lips and he offered her his hands. 'Four weeks.' he agreed and she took his hand.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>the one in which Octavia has the brilliant idea that Bellamy should be Clarke's new roommate not knowing that they had some kind of secret relationship six years ago before he'd left town.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea in which direction this will go and therefore decided to take an higher rating for future possibilities. I know myself and I'll probably end up writing smut.  
> As I have only little time for writing atm, I will keep this chapters as short as possible - mostly around 1k - so I'll be able to update regularly.
> 
> I just really, really badly wanted a roommate au.
> 
> Title from the infamous Britney song.

"Hey O- Whoa, what's going on?"

As she walked into the apartment, the two people standing in the living room and screaming at each other abruptly stopped.

Her gaze wandered to the tall brunette. Her best friend looked exhausted. Her otherwise carefree spirit was nowhere to be found.

Clarke could feel the eyes of the dark haired, freckled man on her but she purposely avoided meeting them. It was better for them all if she acted as if he wasn't there.

"Clarke, I'm so glad you're here." her best friend said, throwing her arms around her.

"You call, I jump. But tell me, what's going on here?"

"That really is non of your business, Princess." his deep voice growled.

Okay, she had really tried to ignore him but goddamn this man was driving her crazy. Clarke loved her best friend more than anything else on this planet but she really loathed her brother.

Bellamy Blake was the bane of her existence since elementary school.

They hadn't seen each other in a couple of years because he'd moved after his partner had died. But now he was back. Clarke had avoided her best friend's apartment for the last three weeks because of him. It seemed that after all those years he still couldn't resist to pick a fight with her.

Clarke plastered a fake smile on her face and finally looked at him.

"Well, hello to you, too, asshole."

Her voice was laced with sarcasm and Bellamy had to suppress a grin. Only his sister's best friend, the infamous Clarke Griffin, could manage to sweetly smile at him and at the same time glare at him.

He hadn't seen her in years and she was still a pain in the ass.

But Bellamy had to admit that she was even more beautiful now than she was when they were teenagers. She'd matured very well. Bellamy quickly let his eyes wander up and down her body once, lingering a little on her chest and her hips. He unconsciously wet his lips and he quickly averted his eyes from her body. Instead he met her own, piercing blue eyes.

She had noticed him not so subtle checking her out and her eyebrows darted up.

But before she could say something he said,

"Come back later, Princess. Octavia and I have some things to figure out?"

"Since when do I give a shit about what you want, Bell?"

Suddenly everything was quiet. His sister's eyes were constantly flicking between the two. And even Clarke's expression was utterly shocked.

What had she done? Bellamy's eyes were almost popping out of his head.

The nickname had smoothly left her lips. She never called him Bell,  _never._ It was too personal, too emotional – something she'd avoided for years.

She averted her eyes from him. Not able to bear his intense gaze any longer.

Instead she looked at Octavia who looked just as surprised. Before things could get more awkward, she asked,

"Well?"

"My brother is the pain in my ass. I spent the night at Lincoln's and when I came back he was totally panicking and freaking out. I told him that I can't really bring my boyfriend here when my brother is here."

"Makes sense but doesn't explain why I am here?"

"I thought that maybe... because Anya is gone and you need... you know-"

Clarke cut her stammering off with a wave of her hand.

When she realized what Octavia was implying she fiercely shook her head.

"Clarke, please." the other woman pleaded.

Bellamy's confusion grew with every second. He'd no idea what the two girls were talking about but the petite blonde in front of him looked horrified.

"No, O. No. There is no way in hell that this will ever happen." she said with a high-pitched voice that was very unlike her.

His sister tried her huge puppy eyes.

"Please Clarke, I'm going crazy and it would be perfect-"

"Perfect?" the blonde squeaked. "Perfect? Are you fucking kidding me? "

"Clarke..." his sister tried again.

Bellamy had enough and he raised his voice.

"Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?"

Clarke's eyes flickered in his direction before she looked away again.

"Bell, I love you but you really can't stay here any longer. And since you don't seem able to find an apartment by yourself, I thought I'd help you out. Anya, Clarke's roommate, moved out last weekend and Clarke cannot afford the apartment by herself..."

Clarke watched Bellamy's eyes widen as realization dawned him. He looked at her and she couldn't help it, she burst out into laughter. Bellamy glared at her.

She grinned and looked at her best friend again.

"Seriously Octavia, we'd kill each other before the week's over."

O shook her head.

"No, I think you'd make pretty good roommates? What do you think, Bell?"

Bellamy had been disturbingly quiet. When she met his gaze he finally spoke.

"Do you really think that Princess?"

"Yeah, don't you." Confusion was clear on her face.

"I don't know." he honestly answered.

He seriously had no idea what made him say his next words.

"But sounds like a challenge to me. Let's find out."

His sister looked hopeful at her friend.

Clarke – surprisingly – seemed to think about it.

It was quiet for a moment and Bellamy began to worry. It probably was a really bad idea.

When Clarke spoke, she surprised them all, even herself.

She thought it was a horrible idea. But Octavia was right. She could not afford the apartment by herself and she had no time to find another roommate. They could try it. Clarke spent most of her time at the hospital so they probably wouldn't see each other very often.

Her eyes met Bellamy's dark one's.

"Four weeks. If it doesn't work out, you have to find something else, okay?"

A soft smile played at his lips and he offered her his hand.

"Four weeks." he agreed and she took his hand.

Octavia squealed in excitement and threw her arms around them.

Clarke looked at him with a faked painful expression.

"Do you mind if we kill your sister first?"

Bellamy couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey!" Octavia yelled.

Clarke grinned at him and he thought that maybe, maybe they could work it out.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Octavia are both 26 and Bellamy is 29. Clarke began her residency eight months ago at the Ark Memorial Hospital. Octavia is a history teacher at the local high school. Bellamy's a detective.

Together the three of them gathered his few belongings and stuffed them on his truck and in Clarke's car.

Octavia helped but didn't came with them when they drove to Clarke's apartment. She said she had to shower because she was still in her clothes from last night and there was also the pile of papers she still had to correct.

Bellamy followed Clarke. The ride took them about ten minutes and Bellamy rolled his eyes. As if his sister and Clarke would get apartments that are farther away than fifteen minutes.

They were uploading his truck when an asian looking boy and one with goggles on his head exited the building. They saw Clarke, waved and came over.

"Hey C, what's up?" Goggles asked.

Then he looked at Bellamy and said,

"I'm Jasper and that's my friend and roommate Monty."

"'Sup. I'm Bellamy." he nodded.

The other guy – Monty – offered him a shy smile but looked questiongly at Clarke who answered his silent question.

"Bellamy's Octavia's brother and apparently my new roomie." she grimaced.

"Need help with that?" Monty asked, gesturing to Bellamy's boxes. Clarke nodded.

With the help of Jasper and Monty they only had to go once to bring all of Bellamy's stuff up to her apartment.

On their way to the third floor, Jasper chatted with Bellamy, asking him hundreds of questions. Bellamy gave short but friendly answers and Clarke was glad about that because otherwise she might have had to kill him.

Monty and Jasper were some of her best friends. They were part of her family. She did not count many people in there but the two were the sweetest people she'd ever met and she couldn't imagine a life without them anymore.

When they put down everything in her apartement, Jasper and Monty said their goodbyes, leaving her alone with Bellamy.

The door closed and Bellamy turned to face her.

"You guys close?" he asked.

Clarke nodded. "Yeah." she said, a smile playing on her lips.

Bellamy had seen the look Clarke had given the two men and he knew that Clarke cared a lot about them. They seemed nice.

She gave him a quick tour of the apartment. It was just a small one, nothing like he'd imagined. Two bedrooms, a small bathroom, a living room and a kitchen. Nothing fancy. It was bigger than Octavia's one bedroom apartment but compared to the huge house (or museum how he'd always called it) she'd grown up in, it was tiny.

After the tour she said,

"We need some rules?"

"Rules?" he rose an eyebrow. "Princess, you know I was never one for following rules."

"A really bad attribute for a detective." she remarked but continued unimpressed. "Seriously Bellamy, this won't work if we won't figure out some rules."

He sighed. "I won't move any furniture. I promise, Princess. I know you're a bit of a control freak."

"Ha-ha. But thank you." she gave him a light smile before getting serious again.

"We both have shitty working hours so if one of us is asleep we let the other sleep, okay?"

He nodded. With a rule like this Bellamy definitely could live.

"Also, I don't want you to enter my room when I'm sleeping. You need to knock and if I don't answer, don't come in. I usually sleep naked."

Bellamy's jaw dropped open. "You...you-"

"Geez, Blake. You're not 19 anymore, so get it together." He blinked a few times to regain his composure and Clarke continued. "I also take someone home sometimes. I hope that won't be a problem for you." It wasn't really a question and all Bellamy managed to get out was,

"Uhhh"

Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Now that this is settled, I'm gonna go to bed. I came straight from the hospital. Make yourself at home. You can make yourself coffee and there's food in the fridge."

Bellamy nodded – still unable to form a proper sentence. Clarke turned around and went into her room, leaving Bellamy alone in his new home.

He still couldn't belive what she'd just told him.

This woman definitely wasn't the girl he'd left six years ago. Nothing left of the prude, little miss goody two shoes. He was stunned by her modifictaion – and also a little scared.

He turned on the coffee maker and brought his belongings in his new room. The wall's were white. There was a dark bed with white sheets, a classy wooden desk, a closet and an empty bookshelf – which was more than perfect.

He walked back into the kitchen and searched for an empty, clean cup. It took him a few minutes to figure out the kitchen but Clarke had always been a neat person so everything was perfectly organized. He poured himself a cup of coffee and returned to his room.

He started filling his closet and when he'd finished he started arranging his books on the shelf. It was a very calming way of passing the time. It gave him an opportunity to free his mind and not constantly thinking about the fact that Clarke was sleeping in the room opposite of his – completely naked.

When he'd finished, he decided it was time for a breakfast. He walked back into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Damn, Princess." he murmured.

There wasn't really something edible. A few takeout boxes and some other stuff. Nothing very healthy and definitely nothing that he could use for making breakfast.

He sighed, took his wallet and the key from the counter in the hallway and left the appartment but not before scribbling a short note for Clarke with his phone number in case she woke up and wondered where he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Love,  
> Kat xx


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay to be honest, I'm not quite satisfied with this chapter but it's anyway more of a filler. Bellamy and Clarke have a common past and some confused feelings for each other.

Clarke woke up two hours later. She had problems sleeping lately.

She would wake up sweating after three hours averagely. Sometimes a scream even escaped her. She'd toss around for some time trying to find sleep again but it never came. So Clarke usually gave up and threw herself in work or sports.

So when she woke up two hours later – covered in sweat after another nightmarish nap – she got up and put on her blue shorts, her fitting sports bra and a white tank. She pulled her hair up into a pony tail and slipped into her running shoes.

When she emerged her room, she noticed that all of Bellamy's things had left the hall. She walked over and knocked on the door of his new room. No answer.

Clarke shrugged and turned.

She picked up her keys from the counter and noticed the second one missing.  
She found a little paper with a neat handwriting.

_Seriously Princess for a doctor your fridge is filled with a lot of unhealthy crap. I'm gonna take care of that. Call me if you need me._

_-B_

Below that, she found his number. She quickly saved it in her phone and typed a quick text.

_Clarke: Out for a quick run. -C._

She then grabbed her keys and her iPod and dragged the door shut behind her. She made her way downstairs and quickly stepped out into the warm morning sun of Ark.

Her phone buzzed, announcing the input of a new text. She stopped and opened it.

_Asshole: Do not break anything. Trees are precious._

She huffed but couldn't hide her smile. At least no one saw her.

She stuffed her phone and keys in her pocket, put on her headphones and started running down the street.

Bellamy was just packing the car when she saw the text from Clarke. He'd hoped she'd reply with something witty like the know-it-all she was but was unfortunately disappointed.

It used to be their thing when they were younger. He'd try to make fun of her or sometimes just be plainly cruel and she'd come back with a snarky remark.

Sometimes they'd hurt the other feelings so much that they wouldn't talk to each other in weeks – not even daring to make eye contact.

Usually someone would try to say something nice on a random occasion to the worst time possible and the other would reply with something sarcastic and they would be back to their usual bickering.

But maybe they'd both matured enough that perhaps they could finally lay their differences aside. Bellamy hoped so. Otherwise living under the same roof would turn out very difficult.

Back at the apartment he started washing and cutting fruits. Then started making the batter for the pancakes.

He started brewing a new pot of coffee and send Clarke a short text.

_Bellamy: Breakfast's almost done._

A few minutes later he saw the screen of his phone lit up.

_Princess: Be there in ten._

Bellamy smiled at his phone and finished making the pancakes.

About ten minutes later the door opened and Clarke came in. The first thing Bellamy noticed were her long bare legs. He swallowed, averting his eyes from her skin and instead met her eyes. There was a thin layer of sweat glistening on her forehead.

"Hey."

"Hi." he replied.

She sat on the kitchen counter, dangling her feet in the air and watched Bellamy finish cooking.

"You didn't have to do this." she said after an awkward moment of silence.

A scowl was forming between her brows but Bellamy shrugged.

"Good for you, I like cooking. So no more takeout food. You'll get fresh food from now on."

Clarke had to smile at that. He sounded so resistant.

"Then let me at least pay for it." she offered.

"Oh no, no, no. Not happening, Princess. Next time can be your turn grocery shopping but that _I_ will pay. I mean you did enough for today. I haven't even thanked you for letting me stay here."

While he talked Bellamy filled their plates with pancakes and fruit – bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and mangos.

It looked delicious and her tongue darted out to wet her lips. To be honest, Clarke was starving. She hadn't eaten real food in over a week.

Normally she would spent every Thursday down at Jasper and Monty's apartment and Monty would cook for them but this week she had to do an extra shift at the hospital and hadn't been able to attend dinner time with her friends.

Clarke joined Bellamy at the table, sitting across from him. She poured maple syrup over her pancakes and held it out to Bellamy who took it with a small smile.

When she took her first bite, she closed her eyes. It was amazing.

Bellamy watched her with awe as Clarke took the first bite of her pancakes and closed her eyes. She smiled and a little moan escaped her.

Bellamy's eyes widened and his pants tightened. Clarke clutched a hand over her mouth, embarrassed.

When she looked up at him, she burst into a nervous giggle and Bellamy grinned at her. He hadn't seen her this comfortable around him in a long time and it made him happy that after all that had happened between them , they could still make it work somehow.

"I'm sorry." Clarke managed to get out between her fits of giggles. "But god this is delicious."

"You're welcome." finally Bellamy's trademark smirk that she hated so much took over his features.

"Seriously though, why the hell would Octavia want to get rid of your cooking skills? Or can you only make pancakes?"

"I'm a man of many skills, Princess." he really couldn't help comments like that, could he?

"And also a princess needs her servants." she deadpanned. Bellamy smiled at that.

When he smiled he looked younger than he was and it reminded her of a different time, of a different place, of two different people.

They both weren't the same people they had been six years ago. A lot had changed since this time.

Circumstances had separated them. Circumstances had shown them that they both weren't ready for whatever had been between them and Clarke had found herself more than once thankful for the fact that they had never told Octavia anything about them – about whatever they had been.

As Bellamy watched her falling into light chattering, he thought that he was grateful for the new chance he had gotten to get to know Clarke.

He really had to get to know her first.

She wasn't the person, she had been when certain "situations" had forced them to take their separate ways and neither was he.

Now he thought that it had been a good thing because they'd both matured into better people.

He wanted to make things better now. He didn't want everything to end like it had six years ago.

He thought that maybe they had finally the chance to be friends – real friends.

Bellamy and Clarke had used to hate each other. Things had always been...  _tense_  between them. Then someday they had figured out a way to release this tension.

Clarke had tried to banish any thought of that but it was difficult now that he was suddenly in front of her again and she could see the muscles in his arm tense now and again.

But she shook the thought from her mind and concentrated on their conversation. They talked about everything and nothing – avoiding painful topics like Miller or her mother.

Clarke had to admit it was... _nice._

She hoped that now that they'd had time to grow, they could finally be friends. It would make living together so much easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Next chapter's coming later today.
> 
> Love,  
> Kat xx


	4. Four

After breakfast, Clarke disappeared into the bathroom to took one of her ten minutes showers. Bellamy smiled when he noticed that this was one of the things that hadn't changed over the years.

She looked a little flushed when she came out of the bathroom but this was probably because of the hot water.

She wore shorts and one of those cropped tops and Bellamy couldn't avert his eyes from her bare stomach. She grabbed a pen from the counter and pinned up her wet hair like Bellamy had seen her do countless of times before.

Clarke was excessively aware of how Bellamy's eyes followed every single of her movements – how they rested on the bare skin of her stomach – and she cursed herself for not choosing something else to wear. But hell if she would Bellamy Blake let determine her choice of clothing.

She went into the kitchen where he was still sitting, making some kind of crossword puzzle.

She poured herself another cup of coffee when he asked,

"So, what are you doing today? Do you have to work tonight?"

She shook her head.

"I have some things to do today and I'll probably go to bed early so I can have enough sleep before I have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning. You just do whatever you want. Just don't... don't interrupt okay?"

He looked at her appraisingly for a whole minute without saying a word and then nodded.

Then his cell ringed. He looked at the caller ID and sighed. Before he picked up he looked at her and offered her a little smile. He stood up and said,

"Seems like I have to go anyway. See you later, Princess." With that he grabbed his jacket and she heard him answer the call.

"What's up, John?"

Clarke was glad when he left because she really couldn't deal with him at the moment. She thought that maybe letting him live here wasn't such a great idea.

He just wouldn't leave her mind. She was constantly thinking about the way his eyes followed her around and how he would smile at her, liking nothing had ever happened.

When she was sitting in front of an empty canvas four hours later and still nothing came from her paintbrush, she thought she was going crazy.

She couldn't believe that her inspiration was blocked. This hadn't happened once in the last six years, not even after the debacle with Lexa and Clarke was sure it was all because Bellamy was now part of her life again.

She had to get him out of her mind.

She tried yoga for the next hour.

Bellamy was glad for the distraction Murphy offered him when he'd called. They were already two hours in an interrogation. The bastard simply wouldn't talk and Bellamy was exhausted so he and Murphy made coffee and made a break in their office.

"So you're living at Clarke's now? You think that's a good idea after...everything?"

Murphy was one of two people who knew about their past and it was easy to talk with him. He had walked into them some time so it was pretty unnecessary to lie to him.

"I thought it was but I'm not sure any more. I thought we could maybe get past all that and become friends but I just can't keep my eyes of her." he sighed.

"You need to get laid." was all his friend and partner said.

Bellamy thought about it but to be honest he did not want to. He had changed since he'd left Ark. He wasn't the guy he'd been in college and in the past years he actually had tried a few relationships. It hadn't worked but at least he wasn't screwing around anymore.

He sighed.

"Let's get back in there." he said and stood up. Murphy followed him.

"We're going out tonight." from the other line came an exhausted sigh.

"Clarke, we both have work tomorrow."

"Wells, please. I  _need_ that." she sounded pathetic but she was desperate.

"Why?"

"I need to get laid. Tonight."

"Why?" was all that came.

"Because Bellamy is my new roommate."

She heard a sharp inhale and then the surprised voice of her best friend.

"You mean Bellamy – fuckbuddythatbrokeyourheart – Blake?"

Her voice was thin and she squeaked a little when she answered, "yes?"

It was more of a question than a real answer.

Wells seemed a little confused. "How the hell did that happen?"

"I'll tell you when were at the Delinquents."

"Okay," he sighed. "Meet me in an hour."

"Okay." They hung up.

Clarke started putting on some makeup. She settled for smoky-eyes and red lipstick. She tried two times for her eyes to look evenly. When she managed it she was more than happy.

Usually when she'd go out, Octavia would be with her and she would be the one doing her makeup. Octavia would be proud of her.

Clarke couldn't resist and took a selfie for her best friend.

The respond came immediately.

_O: HOT AF!_

Clarke laughed.

She heard Bellamy come home.

Clarke put on dark jeans, a white blouse and her black mary jane heels. Her blonde hair was falling in natural waves down her shoulders and back. She opened the first two buttons of her blouse to show some cleavage and grabbed her purse.

She was quite satisfied with her look. It was casual and it felt like her – not like the dresses Octavia loved to put her in.

She heard Bellamy turn on the shower when she was about to leave her room.

Clarke quickly scribbled a note for him that said that she went out and he shouldn't wait for her, grabbed her keys and left.

Wells invited her for dinner and Clarke told him everything that had happened since this morning.

He listened without interrupting and than scolded her for letting her ex-whatever move into her apartment.

"So that's why you have to get laid?"

"Yes."

"Should be difficult when you're having dinner with a good looking young man." he smirked and Clarke punched him lightly but she laughed.

They talked for a little while until Wells decided that it was late and that he would go now.

"See you tomorrow, Griffin."

She sat at the bar – nursing a beer – when a dark, handsome stranger with broad shoulders approached her and bought her a drink. She looked him up and down and then gave him her widest smile before she took the drink.

_He would do,_  she thought.

Bellamy was laying in his new bed, reading a book. It was strange to be so much alone in this foreign apartment but he slowly got used to it. He'd made himself a quick dinner, watched a TV for some time before he settled for a book.

It was past eleven thirty pm when he heard Clarke's quiet laughter fill the apartment. He'd already stood up but sat down immediately when he heard the male voice of a stranger.

Something fell to the ground with a loud clunk and the voices laughed.

He heard Clarke's bedroom door falling shut and soon he could hear soft moans and Clarke's giggles from the other room.

He groaned and searched for his iPod. He turned up the volume and lay back.

Bellamy tried to continue reading but he couldn't quite concentrate and eventually he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> I hope I'm making the POV's clear. If something's not clear feel free to ask.
> 
> From now on I might not be able to update on a daily basis, sorry.
> 
> Love,   
> Kat xx


	5. Five

Clarke woke up the next morning with a throbbing head. She groaned when her alarm went off and a wave of pain rolled over her. She quickly shut her eyes again.

 

Clarke had a major hangover and she cursed herself. She had a 12 hours shift in the hospital ahead of her, this wasn't going to be fun.

 

With another groan she slowly sat up. That was when she noticed that her whole body felt sore. But the good kind of soreness.

She remembered dark hair and broad shoulders that invited her to bite down on them.

 

A smug, very pleased smile found it's way on her lips.

 

Unfortunately she couldn't remembered much more.

She just knew that she'd went out with Wells last night, got totally wasted (obviously) and had had amazing sex with a dark, handsome stranger before she'd kicked him out. Then she'd collapsed into her bed. Everything else of the last day was a blur and she couldn't remember anything that happened.

 

Clarke already began regretting the last night. Not the sex (he'd made her come twice, thank you very much) but that she'd gotten so drunk.

 

She'd two hours before her shift at the hospital started.

 

Carefully, she stood up and pressed her palm against her temple when dark spots appeared before her eyes.

 

At least, there was one other positive thing except that she'd gotten laid. Though she'd barely memories left of the last day, she had slept through the whole night without waking up once.

 

That was happening more often lately. Clarke would get totally drunk and then sleep the whole night without any interruption.

It was nice to not wake up in the middle of the night, screaming because you're having the same nightmare over and over again.

The headache she would get from her hangover was easier to handle than being sleep deprived.

 

Since it was only eight in the morning, Clarke desperately needed caffeine.

She made her way to the kitchen and immediately turned on the coffee maker. While she waited, she got her favorite mug and an empty glass out from the cupboard.

Clarke filled the glass with water and swallowed an aspirin.

 

As soon as there was enough coffee in the pot, she filled her mug. No sugar, no cream. Clarke liked her coffee black and hot.

 

She didn't even hiss when she burned her tongue. The bitter sweet sensation of the hot liquid rushing down her throat, immediately soothed the pain.

She closed her eyes in appreciation and leaned against the cold kitchen counter.

Clarke already felt better.

 

Bellamy woke by the sound of the coffee maker being turned on in the kitchen. He groaned.

He turned around to look at his alarm. 0800. He cursed. It was Sunday, why was the princess up so early when she'd been out all night?

 

He tried to not think about the last night and how strange he'd felt when he' heard that she'd brought someone home.

It shouldn't be a problem. She'd warned him. It wasn't like he was jealous. There was no reason to. They were friends (No, they weren't). But roommates, it really should not bother him (except that it does, _thank you very much brain, now please shut up_ ).

The point was that there once had been something between them and now – even though it had been six years – seeing or  _hearing_ her with someone else wasn't easy. 

 

Who wants to hear their ex fucking someone else? Right, no one.

 

Bellamy just hoped that whoever it was, had already left.

 

Now that he was awake, he knew he couldn't go back to sleep and the smell of freshly brewed coffee was creeping into his room.

With another groan he pulled himself out of bed. He was just wearing short sweats and quickly put a shirt on before leaving his room.

 

He was running a hand through his curls, trying to tame them a little but probably only making it worse.

 

When he looked up, he nearly ran into the wall.

Bellamy hadn't been prepared for what he saw.

 

Clarke was leaning against the counter with closed eyes, silently nursing her coffee,  _completely naked._

 

“ _Fuck!_ ” he hissed when he felt his pants tighten. 

 

Bellamy couldn't avert his eyes from her naked body. She'd always had amazing tits and Bellamy would lie if he'd say he hadn't missed them because  _goddammit_ .

 

His outburst must have woken up Clarke a little more because her eyes flew open and a surprised yelp escaped her.

 

Bellamy's eyes were still raking over her naked frame. She looked different but still the same. Bellamy wanted to touch her but forced himself to tilt his gaze upwards when she cleared her throat, obviously noticing him checking her out. He quickly turned around, heat sneaking up his ears.

 

Clarke's face was burning. She couldn't believe that Bellamy had shamelessly stared at her. She was thankful when he finally turned around.

But then he lifted his shirt over his head and threw it in her direction without looking over his shoulder.

 

“Please, Clarke,” his voice husky. “please, put that on.”

 

“Nothing you haven't seen before” she said but gratefully picked up the shirt. It was already saying enough that he'd called her by her real name instead of princess.

 

When he turned around Bellamy tried to subtly adjust his pants but Clarke noticed. She quickly turned to hide her grin and instead asked,

 

“You want some coffee?”

 

“That'd be great” relief clear in his voice. “Where's lover boy?”

 

“They never stay.” she answered as she stood on her tiptoes, trying to reach for a cup.

 

Seriously, how could she forget that she'd a new roommate and that it was no one else than Bellamy fucking Blake. Clarke mentally slapped herself. How could she be so stupid? She definitely had too much to drink last night. This could not happen again.

 

When Clarke stood on her tiptoes to reach for a cup for him, his shirt, slid higher, revealing the pale, soft skin of her ass and he had to slap his palm over his mouth to not make a sound – or even worse – reach out for her and press himself against her back.

 

Instead he growled, “Let me help you.”

 

But it was already to late. She was holding the cup in her hand and turned to face him. She looked still a little flustered but the grin on her face when her eyes run up and down his body, licking her lips when she stopped at his now bare chest and then stopped again right under his waistband, was more than just a little smug.

 

“I'm sure, I am not the one that needs help but I can help you with that.”

 

Bellamy swallowed hard at her words and Clarke simply could not hide her grin. It was fun to see him squirm uncomfortable under her gaze.

 

“I'm fine.” he said horse and not very convincing.

 

But she decided to quickly escape into the bathroom before the tension between them could grow even more.

 

Clarke gulped down the rest of her coffee while Bellamy poured himself some and then almost run into the bathroom.

 

As soon as she was standing under the hot water, she closed her eyes and her fingers involuntarily made their way down her bare stomach before meeting her clit. A sigh escaped her.

 

Bellamy was glad when Clarke left to take a shower. He felt uncomfortable with a hard one standing right next to her.

So when Clarke disappeared, he quickly made his way to his room to take care of his problem before she would come back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was Chapter 5. I really hope you liked it. Tbh I really don't know what I'm doing with this story.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading. I'd love it if you'd tell me what you think.
> 
> Love,  
> Kat xx


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little hungover so this is the best I can do today. Sorry.

“Please tell me you did not have sex with Bellamy Blake?”

 

They were sitting in the break room, finally having found the time to make a short break between their patients. Clarke's eyes went wide with shock as her best friend's reaction to the events of last night.

 

“Why the hell would I fuck my ex-whatever?”

 

“You mean _fuck-buddy-who-shattered-your-heart-into-tiny-little-pieces?_ I don't know, why don't you tell me?”

 

“What the fuck, Wells?” she hissed at her friend's outburst.

 

“Clarke, you just said that you cannot remember last night except that you had amazing sex with a dark, tall, handsome stranger. You sure it was a stranger?” he asked.

 

Clarke groaned but laughed a bit.

 

“Yeah, Wells, I'm sure. It was definitely a stranger and definitely not Bellamy, trust me. I know how sex feels with Bellamy...” Clarke trailed off at Wells' expression.

 

“And he definitely would not have reacted like that this morning-”

 

“Reacted like what?” Wells interrupted her.

 

Clarke felt her cheeks burn and she knew her face was a bright red. She stammered some nonsense, desperately trying to change the topic.

 

But Wells wasn't one to back down and he cut her stammering and demanded to tell him what happened.

 

“As I told you, I had problems remembering what happened yesterday and I woke up, thinking I was still alone in the apartment...”

 

Wells suddenly started laughing and Clarke glared at him.

 

“Sorry.” he breathlessly said but it didn't sound like he really meant it. “But I hope you did not leave you're room without throwing on some clothes.”

 

At her silence Wells shook his head.

 

“I practically run out of the apartment after my shower.”

 

He was laughing at her.

 

“So that explains why you were here and hour early.”

 

Suddenly a worried Jackson rushed into the room interrupting their conversation over what Clarke was more than glad.

 

“Clarke...”

 

She was already jumping up and demanding to tell her what happened. Jackson quickly explained and already on his way back.

 

As she rushed out of the room behind Jackson, she heard Wells yelling after her,

 

“This isn't over Griffin.” and she shook her head, clearly amused.

 

She really hoped she could avoid him for the rest of the day because she knew she'd not like the conversation they would have if she couldn't. Wells seemed to try to interpret something that clearly wasn't there anymore into the fact that Clarke had offered Bellamy a room. It was already annoying her. She was glad he didn't know about what she'd done in the shower. Wells would never let go of this if he knew she'd masturbated to the thought of Bellamy. She was still embarrassed by herself.

 

“She _what?_ ” Murphy asked aghast.

 

“She stood there completely naked, drinking her coffee. I do not think she did that on purpose because she turned bright red when I entered the kitchen but I really don't know.”

 

Murphy shook his head, laughing.

 

“No, I know Clarke and she definitely did not do that on purpose. She and Anya – her old roommate – often did not bother with putting on clothes. Everyone of us has at least seen one of the two naked but we quickly learned to knock.”

 

Bellamy was a bit confused. “Why would they walk around naked?”

 

“I don't know, man but they did.”

 

“Wait,” Bellamy spoke up. “You did not see Clarke naked, did you?”

 

His friend laughed at him. “Jealous that I may have seen your ex naked?”

 

Bellamy stayed silent, taking a big gulp of his beer.

 

“No I have not.” Murphy finally said. “But Anya.” he added with a smirk.

 

“Honestly, Bellamy, I do not think it was a good idea of her letting you move in. I know why you left – I understand that – but she was pretty wrecked after that. She had to go through a lot in the last years and you two always pushed each others buttons, just... I think you should still try to find something else in the next four weeks and she should also try to find someone else, she can share her apartment with. I know for a fact that she needs someone because she still has a lot of depths to pay but in my opinion she should look for someone else. I think it'd be for the sake of both of you.”

 

Bellamy was a little dumbfounded after that. He looked at his partner with wide eyes. Clarke Griffin and John Murphy never had been friends when they all were younger and he had no idea what had changed between the two that Murphy now was speaking fondly of her.

 

His partner read his silence right because he said,

 

“A lot can change in six years but some things don't so please think of what I told you.”

 

He stood up and patted his shoulder. 

 

“I have to go. Emori's waiting.”

 

Before he could leave, Bellamy, who was still pretty shocked, said,

 

“Thank you, John.” he had no idea what he was thanking him for but his friend nodded before leaving the bar and Bellamy lost in his thoughts. _What depths?_

 

That was when his phone ringed. He looked at the caller ID and frowned.  _Speaking of the devil._

 

“Clarke, everything alright?” why the hell was she calling at eight pm? Bellamy thought she had to work until ten.

 

“Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to tell you not to worry but I'm not coming home tonight. There was this big accident at Mount Weather and the ER is full. I have to stay and help where I can.” she rushed to explain.

 

Everyone was running around and yelling. She saw Wells tending to one of the patients while she jumped in to help stopping the bleeding of another patient.

 

Clarke was thankful to have her headpiece always with her, which made it so much easier in case of emergencies.

 

There was a lot of background noise and Bellamy quickly ended the call with thanking her for caring to tell him. He didn't want to be in the way when she tried to safe lives.

 

This meant another night alone and Bellamy who didn't feel like cooking or spending time alone in the apartment, decided to visit his sister. He quickly paid his beer and exited the bar.

 

He drove over to her apartment but was hit with surprise when not Octavia opened the door but a tall, burly and tattooed man.

 

“Who are you?” the man asked.

 

Bellamy glared at him, ignored his question and instead yelled for his sister who came rushing to the door when she heard his voice.

 

She looked slightly panicked when she asked what he was doing there.

 

“Are you kidding me?” he yelled, ignoring her question as well.

 

“Bell, this really isn't the time-” Octavia began but the man – her boyfriend obviously – interrupted her.

 

“Wait this is your brother?” he asked looking at her in shock and then quickly extending his hand to Bellamy.

 

“I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm Lincoln.”

 

Bellamy looked at his hand for a moment and then up into the man's – Lincoln – face. He looked a little concerned. Not scared but worried. Bellamy looked at his sister who watched the two of them pleadingly.

 

Bellamy sighed and took the hand that Lincoln offered him.

 

“Bellamy. Hurt my sister and I'll hunt you down and torture you before I'll cut you into pieces and feed them to the wild animals that live at Mt Weather.”

 

Lincoln nodded and cracked a smile. “I do not intend to but if I should I'll gladly accept this punishment.”

 

Bellamy studied him a little longer before he nodded and offered him the hint of a smile.

 

Octavia seemed to have hold her breath because she loudly exhaled and Bellamy frowned. Was he really that bad? He needed to get a grip on his temper.

 

Octavia told him that he looked horrible and invited him in. Her way of saying that she was still angry but she could forgive him if he'd put effort in getting to know her boyfriend and being nice.

 

He sighed but gladly accepted her invitation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this one. As always, tell me what you think.
> 
> Love,   
> Kat xx


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly Bellamy's POV and you'll learn a lot about Clarke's past from others.

Clarke woke by someone shaking her lightly. When she opened her eyes she saw familiar black hair and dark big eyes studying her with concern.

 

“Clarke, go home.” Maya said and she realized that she was still in her scrubs and laying in one of the cots in the hospital.

 

Clarke looked at her watch and shook her head.

 

“My alarm would have woken me up in ten anyway.”

 

“Did you hear me? You should go home, Clarke. You're working too much.”

 

She wanted to protest. It wasn't like Maya had anything to say, she was a nurse but she was also her friend. Clarke knew she would call Jasper if she wouldn't listen and he'd probably drag her out on her hair but there was so much to do.

 

Maya seemed to know what she was thinking because when Clarke opened her mouth she beat her at it.

 

“Clarke you're here for eight months now and you work more than everyone else. You usually work seventy hours a week, last week even eighty. Everyone can see you're sleep deprived. Sure we all appreciate that you work hard and that you care so much that you spent most of your time at the hospital but you are no use if you're not well rested.”

 

Behind Maya the door opened, revealing the Chief of Surgery and Clarke groaned.

 

“You know she's right.” Nyko said.

 

“I already called Lincoln. They should be here any minute. I don't want to see you here before Tuesday, do you understand? Take the rest of today off and I see you tomorrow.”

 

With a sigh Clarke stood up and nodded. She really couldn't argue with Nyko about that.

 

“Clarke I'm tiered of having this conversation at least once a week. Try to think of Lincoln and Octavia, okay? Octavia worries too much about you already, stop adding more to that.” with that he left them and Maya helped her get her things from the locker room and brought her outside, to make sure she was really going home.

 

On a Monday morning at six o'clock, her best friend and her boyfriend stood at the parking lot of the hospital to take her home. It had happened more often lately and she saw Octavia glaring at her when she was still several feet away. But she could also see that her forehead was creased in concern and the first thing she did when she approached her friend was apologizing.

 

Octavia simply took her car keys and Clarke got in Lincoln's car.

 

The last thing she saw before she fell asleep again was Lincoln starting the engine.

 

6:30

 

With a groan Bellamy turned around to turn off his alarm. He dragged himself in the kitchen to make some coffee.

 

He'd come home late last night after spending a fun evening with his sister and her boyfriend. Octavia had heated some of her leftover lasagna for him and they had talked a lot.

 

Bellamy had to admit that Lincoln wasn't that bad. He was more a quiet guy whereas Octavia and Bellamy had done most of the talking.

 

He was still unsure of what to think of Lincoln being an artist. It wasn't really a secure job but Bellamy could see that he'd do everything for his sister so he tried not to think too much about it. Octavia was head over heels for this guy and her happiness would always be his priority.

 

Bellamy had no idea how long Clarke had worked last night and he decided to not wake her up, she really needed some rest.

 

Before his thoughts could wander any further, he heard a key in the log and frowned. The door opened and Octavia came in.

 

He wanted to ask what she was doing here but then he saw Lincoln carrying a sleeping Clarke.

Bellamy immediately was on her side but before he could open his mouth Octavia told him to shut up.

 

Lincoln brought Clarke to her room and lay her down on her bed before exiting again. Bellamy just stood their watching his sister as she removed Clarke's shoes. When she noticed him still standing in the room she hissed,

 

“Bellamy get the hell out.” When he didn't move she called for Lincoln, who immediately appeared on his side and dragged him out of the room.

 

“Octavia is removing Clarke's clothes so she can sleep comfortably. We've done this a hundred times by now. We got a call from the hospital. She works too much.” he offered as an explanation and suddenly his worry faded away.

 

Then he remembered that Lincoln had Clarke carried to the third floor and he did not look exhausted. When he asked him about that he carefully answered,

 

“I have done this so often now that it got easy. The first few times were hard but she's tiny.”

 

Bellamy smiled at that.

 

“Yeah, she is.”

 

Then Octavia emerged from the room, looking tired.

 

She locked eyes with Lincoln and said,

 

“I don't know how much longer I can do that.”

 

Lincoln wrapped her in his arms and Bellamy felt like an intruder.

 

“I'm so afraid, Linc.” she whispered and it sounded like she was crying.

 

Bellamy's heart ached for his little sister and he had no idea what was actually happening.

 

Lincoln stroked her hair and said,

 

“I know, I know.”

 

Then he met Bellamy's worried expression.. He picked up Octavia and motioned Bellamy to follow them into the living room where he sat down with Octavia in his lap.

 

It was like he could read Bellamy as easily as he could read Octavia because he started explaining everything to him.

 

“My friend Nyko is Chief of Surgery at the Ark Memorial and he calls us at least once a week to pick up a totally exhausted Clarke. Most weeks she works around seventy hours, the last week it had been even eighty. It's like she hates being here. She's spending as much time at the hospital as they let her. She does not sleep much and she drinks a lot. She often goes out alone but if some of us are with her she stays much longer then we do. She usually gets wasted and hooks up with a stranger. She's totally given up relationships.

She tries to hide from everyone. She hasn't talked to her mother in the last eight months, not since she had called to congratulate her daughter for the residency. Their conversation has ended in a fight.”

 

There Lincoln was interrupted by Octavia.

 

“They haven't talked a lot in the last years, not since the accident.” She looked at Bellamy.

 

“After what happened with Miller”

 

at the sound of his best friends name he flinched, his chest ached and he had to blink back tears but Octavia just gave him an apologetic look before continuing,

 

”there was a lot of anger. She started to make sure her emotions couldn't be read that easily anymore. Then her dad died and she had a huge breakdown. She did not eat, she cried a lot and she did not talk to Abby. Sometimes she did not even want to see _me_.”

 

Octavia quickly wiped her cheek when a single tear escaped her eye.

 

“It was a hard time. Eventually she started talking again but she still tried hard to not get attached too much. Then she met someone-”

 

Octavia stocked a little, before continuing and Bellamy was sure there was something she did not say,

 

“she opened up again and she seemed happy. She actually laughed, you know? But then after a year and a half, she got her heart broken and for the last fifteen months she was an ice block. All she does is working and drinking and having sex with random people she meets at bars. She barely sleeps and she does not eat enough.”

 

Bellamy watched his sister with wide eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. All that did not in the slightest sound like the girl he'd known almost his whole life.

 

Octavia was fully crying now and Lincoln held her close. Her eyes met Bellamy's.

 

“Saturday I saw the first real emotion in almost two weeks. It's like after all those years, you are still the one that can push her buttons. I don't care if it's anger she's showing. I'm just glad when she shows _anything_. I haven't heard her laughing like this in weeks Bellamy. Most of the time her smiles are fake but when she grinned at you it was genuine. I don't know why it is _you_ that makes her show her feelings” 

 

she looked hurt as she said that and Bellamy had the urge to apologize,

 

“but I'm glad she does. Please don't screw this up Bell, I finally had the impression my best friend is still there somewhere.”

 

“I won't.” he whispered.

 

It was hard for him to believe what Octavia was saying. Clarke had smiled plenty at him in the last two days and it hadn't look like it was forced. He knew she had changed but what Lincoln and his sister just told him, made worry consuming his mind.

 

Octavia stood up and wrapped her arms around Bellamy. 

 

“I always knew, you cared about her, Bell. Take good care of her.” she whispered in his ear before pulling away.

 

When she wiped at his cheek, Bellamy knew he hadn't hid his feelings well enough. She kissed his cheek and then grabbed Lincoln's hand and they left him alone, trying to sort out his feelings for the small, infuriating blonde he'd once known better than himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this got a little emotional, I hope you liked it.
> 
> I'm still trying to figure out what I want to happen between the two so I'm sorry for the lack of interactions between them so far.
> 
> Anyway, tell me what you think about this.
> 
> Love you loads,  
> Kat xx


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so incredibly sorry for the delay guys but between studying for my exams and all the stress that comes with moving I just don't find the time to write.
> 
> Since I let you wait this long and the chapter I'd actually planned hasn't many Bellarke interactions I figured I give you something you might enjoy rather.
> 
> Also I think I messed up the tenses quite a bit. Sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: mild (really, it's almost nothing) sexual content

**~ Flashback ~**

 

It was the morning after O's birthday party.

Nobody throws parties like Octavia Blake. It had been her 19th birthday and Clarke would have never dared to think of not coming. Not because Octavia was her best friend since for ever but she would actually kill Clarke if she'd miss one of her infamous parties. And infamous they were.

 

Clarke was pretty sure that almost half the campus had been at the fraternity house. O's boyfriend had been kind enough to let them throw the party there and it had been awesome. But there had been a lot of alcohol involved which Clarke was now – upon waking up – starting to regret.

Her head felt like someone had hit her with a baseball bat (and she knew what she was talking about – though Octavia's brother had sworn it hadn't been intentional).

 

Speaking of Bellamy, now that she was slowly waking up she noticed the tanned arm thrown over her waist and the warm body curved around hers. His steady breathing indicated that he was still asleep which she was thankful for as suddenly pictures of last night hit her.

 

~

 

_Her back pressed against his front. Taking his hands and placing them low on her waist and slowly starting to move her hips in circles to the music. His hands wandering teasingly over her sides mapping the curves of her body. Letting her head fall back to rest on his shoulder and bringing a hand to the nape of his neck and making him look at her with those dark, intense eyes._

 

 

_Teeth clashing and laughing Bellamy shoved her against the door of his apartment while he fumbled with the keys. She run her hands through his hair, biting his bottom lip and eliciting a low groan from him._

_Shoving the door open, stumbling in the apartment, lips never breaking contact. On the way to his room stumbling as they kicked of their shoes and she shoved his shirt up. Laughing as he almost fell over the edge of the sofa._

 

 

_Feather light touches that made her skin burn. Coaxing out his name, aching for him to satisfy the need that had settled in the pit of her stomach and the heat between her legs._

_The moan that escaped him when she couldn't take it any longer and groped at his hard length pressed against her side._

 

 

_Skin glistening from sweat, her head falling back and her eyes closing as she felt her orgasm growing with each thrust of his hips._

_His lips following the column of her throat, biting. Her back arching as the high washes over her. His frantic thrusts as he chases his own release. Leaning up to nibble at his ear. Bellamy chanting her name as he too stumbles over the edge._

 

_~_

 

Even though her eyes were already closed she pressed them tighter as she felt her cheeks heat with the memory of Bellamy on top of her. Her breathing had picked up on pace and she didn't notice Bellamy stirring behind her.

 

For a brief moment he was confused by who was currently pressed against his front but then the familiar scent of lavender he hated and loved at the same time hit him and he smiled.

That was until he realised Clarke was also awake because her breath hitched and he could feel her heart racing.

Alarmed he opened his eyes and asked,

 

“You're not going to get a panic attack, are you?”

 

“Bellamy!” Clarke was embarrassed when it came out as a squeal but she hadn't known that he was up.

 

She slowly turned in his arms forcing herself to meet his gaze.

 

Bellamy frowned when he noticed that Clarke had put some distance between them when she turned around to face him but at least she wasn't avoiding his gaze.

 

Slowly as to not scare her, he raised his hand. Stroking a single strand of her golden hair behind her ear. Her eyes fluttered shut for a second at his touch and her features softened for a moment.

 

“Are you regretting this?” he asked so quiet he feared she hadn't heard him but then her eyes shot open and he dropped his hand, laying it in the space between them.

 

Clarke just studied his expression for a moment. He didn't seem happy at the possibility of her regretting what had happened between the two of them last night and she sighed.

 

Scooting a little closer and taking his hand, interlacing their fingers she said,

 

“I don't regret it.”

 

He smiled and squeezed her hand. “Good.”

 

“Bell-”

 

“I know.” he interrupted. He knew exactly what she was about to say.

 

Clarke knew him. She knew that he didn't do relationships and feelings. What he did was sex though. Lots of sex – if she let him that was.

 

“Clarke, I really had fun last night and I don't want this to be a one time thing. But you know how I am and this won't change that.”

 

She wordlessly studied him for a minute. That wasn't news. As long as she knew Bellamy Blake – which was like forever – he'd never been in a real relationship.

It also wasn't very often that he'd fuck a girl more than once (or better more than one night, because obviously you can fuck more than once in a single night).

 

So Clarke was actually a little surprised by his proposition.

Bellamy Blake the bane of her existence since elementary school, the guy she'd constantly screaming matches with whenever they met, the man who enrages her more than anyone else, the boy who can't let an opportunity slip to call her _Princess,_ he was truly asking her to let him fuck her more than once? Her, Clarke Griffin? The Princess?

 

She couldn't believe it and threw her head back, laughing loudly. Bellamy glared and she giggled.

 

But then she was serious again, having made a decision and locking eyes when she asked,

 

“Bellamy Blake, do you wanna be fuck buddies?”

 

Since she'd stopped laughing Bellamy was pretty sure she was serious.

 

“We can't tell O.” he finally managed after a few seconds of him only looking at her, making sure she wasn't joking.

 

A warm smile spread across her features and she leaned forward to press her lips against his.

 

Lips moving against each other, Bellamy rolled on top of her. His mouth wandered to her throat, gently sucking at her pulse point, her fingers digging into his shoulders. Grinning, he bit down on her skin, coaxing out a loud moan from her.

 

Clarke quickly clapped her hand over her mouth out of embarrassment when suddenly someone pounded loudly against his door.

 

“Not again, _please_!” Miller's voice came from the other side of the door and he sounded strangely in pain.

 

Clarke's cheeks reddened as she rolled on her side and pulled the sheets over head to hide her red face. Bellamy laughed and Clarke couldn't help but join him.

 

“C'mon,” he said, nudging her. “Let's get breakfast.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rellay hope you liked this.
> 
> I'm gonna continue to write flashbacks from time to time. They won't be always about Bellarke. It will be a memory of one of their pasts, including their relationship with Miller and others.
> 
> Love you loads,  
> Kat xx


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter so far.
> 
> Enjoy!

A scream woke her up hours later. It took Clarke a moment to register it was her own.

She sat up and run a hand through her messy hair and then wiped at her cheeks and tried to calm her breathing.

 

The alarm told her it was 4:15 which meant she had slept ten hours. She blinked a few times not believing what she was seeing.

_When was the last time she'd slept that long?_

Clarke must have really been exhausted.

 

She put on an old tee-shirt and underwear – not wanting to have a repeat of Sunday morning.  
Octavia thankfully had removed her dirty scrubs last night.

 

She found her phone in her bag and turned it on.

 

She had one missed call from Jasper which she deleted. She'd deal with him later or tomorrow or whenever he decided to appear in her apartment because that's what will happen when she ignores his calls.

 

Clarke also had a text from Bellamy which made her frown.

 

_Asshole: There are pancakes left and fresh orange juice in the fridge. EAT!!!_

 

_Clarke: Don't tell me what I should do! Since when do I take orders from you?_

 

His response came immediately and Clarke huffed in annoyance.

 

_Asshole: You're up, good. Now go eat breakfast! Or do I have to come over and shove it into you?_

 

She did not even think of responding to that. But she also didn't have to because a moment later another text came in.

 

_Asshole: Seriously Clarke, you're not eating enough and that's not healthy. Please, eat something. I just worry about you. Besides, Octavia will kill me if I'm not making sure you take care of yourself._

 

Clarke was genuinely surprised by that. Since when did Bellamy care about anyone except him and his sister?   
But Clarke knew that this wasn't true. Somehow he'd always cared.   
  


He'd cared about Miller. He'd loved him like a brother. The two of them had been unbreakable.

 

Miller had been a good guy. Clarke missed him. He had been one of her closest friends. But no one has suffered as much as Bellamy had when Miller had been killed.

Clarke had never seen Bellamy so lost and it had broke her heart.

 

He also cared about Murphy. The two of them had met in college. Clarke had hated him at the beginning and it had been mutual.

But they were friends now and Clarke knew she could always count on him when she needed someone. Actually the two of them had become very close in the last couple of years and she was pretty sure, Murphy had called her his best friend a few weeks ago. It wasn't like she didn't knew that but she'd never figured, he'd say that but he had when he'd asked her to be his best 'man'. Of course she'd said yes.

 

There had been a time where Clarke had thought Bellamy maybe cared about her, too. He had indeed but not the way she'd wished he would.

 

But that was long ago.  
It wasn't important to her anymore whether he cared or not but it surprised her that he said he did.

 

She sighed. Clarke had just woke up and was already thinking too much.

She made her way into the kitchen and turned on the coffeemaker and because she decided that Bellamy was right ( _seriously, she really should take a little more care of herself_ ) she let some water in the bathtub and added her favorite bubble bath ( _french lavender & honey_).

 

While the tub was filling, Clarke prepared a tray with the pancakes Bellamy had left for her and a glass of fresh orange juice. She poured herself a cup of coffee and grabbed her iPod. She set up everything in the bathroom before she stripped out of her clothes and slowly sank into the hot water.

 

Clarke hissed a little when her bare skin came in touch with the water but slowly felt herself relaxing when she was covered with foam. The smell of lavender filling her nostrils.

 

She grabbed her phone from the tray in front of her and quickly took a picture of the tray. Her foot barely visible through all the bubbles.

 

She captioned it with the words: _taking care of myself._ Before she hit send.

 

Bellamy's response came immediately.

 

_Asshole: Good girl!_

 

Clarke was about to plug in her headphones, close her eyes and sip her coffee when the thought struck her that she possibly should thank Octavia for last night. She normally never did but she felt bad about it.

 

Octavia was her best friend and always looking out for her and all Clarke had done lately was treating her badly. A wave of guilt rushed through her body and she picked up her phone again. Octavia did not deserve being treated that way so she quickly typed:

 

_Clarke: Thank you for taking care of me, O!_

 

_O: Always!_

 

Clarke closed her eyes for a moment after reading Octavia's response.

Clarke was pretty sure that O was afraid to say anything more because of the fear that Clarke would shut down again.

She felt horrible for it but also knew she couldn't help it.

 

With a sigh, Clarke plugged in her headphones, closed her eyes and let the warm water relax her tense shoulders.

 

Clarke's text came in when he was about to head out of the office. Bellamy smiled at the picture of a tray sitting on the bathtub. Under all the foam he could see Clarke's red painted toes. He was glad she'd actually done what he'd asked of her but he'd only be satisfied when he was sure she actually ate the pancakes.

 

When he entered the apartment at five thirty, Bellamy was greeted with silence. He frowned. Shouldn't Clarke be here?

 

He had his answer when the door to the bathroom opened and a half-naked Clarke emerged. She was wrapped in a tiny blue towel that showed her long white legs, her skin still glistening from her bath.

 

Someone clearing their throat made Bellamy look up. Clarke watched him with amusement. A nervous chuckle escaped him.

 

“We have to stop meeting like this.” he said huskily.

 

Clarke just smirked at him and then without so much as a greeting turned and disappeared into her room.

 

Bellamy had totally been checking her out, which confused Clarke a lot. She knew Bellamy liked her body. He always had. But after all that had happened, he really shouldn't check her out. He had also seemed a little flustered and that was new.

She shook her head and a chuckle escaped her.

 

A moment later Clarke stepped out of her room again, wearing leggings and a thin tank top.

 

Bellamy grabbed a beer from the fridge when Clarke joined him in the kitchen.

 

He looked up and asked,

 

“Do you want something?”

 

She shook her head.

 

He sat down on the kitchen table while Clarke still stood in the frame. She just stood there and studied him, making Bellamy squirm in his seat.

 

“So, how was the bath?” he asked, feeling really uncomfortable under her gaze.

 

Clarke had to suppress her grin when she saw Bellamy's discomfort.

 

She watched him a moment longer before she turned around again. She looked at him over her shoulder and said,

 

“Thanks for the pancakes.” before she left a more than just a little confused Bellamy with his beer.

 

A door being shut indicated Bellamy that she'd disappeared in her room again.

 

“Okay what the hell did just happen?” he murmured, still staring at the spot Clarke was standing only moments ago.

 

Through his confusion Bellamy had noticed a slight difference on her body. He was pretty sure that he'd seen black ink appearing from under her tank on her left shoulder.

_Since when was Clarke Griffin a fan of tattoos?_

 

Clarke felt well rested and relaxed and decided it was time to try painting again. Maybe today would her inspiration blossom. 

 

Bellamy wondered what Clarke was doing. She couldn't be sleeping again and soft music was playing in her room. He noticed the familiar tone of  _Debussy_ 's  _Rêverie._

He had to smile at that.

Clarke Griffin had probably the strangest taste in music of all times. She listened to everything.  _Literally._

  
She had grown up with classics like Beethoven and had played the piano since she'd been a kid. Bellamy was pretty sure that the last time he'd heard her play had been at Miller's funeral. He knew, she had only done this because Miller would have want it that way. He'd always loved hearing Clarke play, though Clarke had stopped taking classes when she was sixteen.  
There was no piano in the apartment so he was pretty sure she wasn't playing anymore. Which was kinda sad, Bellamy had to admit.

 

Clarke's favorite band always had been  _3 Doors Down_ which Bellamy had always found ridiculous. Nevertheless, he had once went to a concert with her. The memory of that making him smile. Clarke had been beaming when he'd showed her the tickets.

 

Or the image of seven year old O and Clarke, getting dance lesson by his mother, always listening to  _Elvis Presley_ .

 

His nostalgia was interrupted by a loud banging on the front door, followed by someone yelling,

 

“CLARKE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON WE'RE COMING IN.”

 

And the front door flew open. Monty and Goggles ( _Jasper!_ ) stormed into the apartment.

 

Bellamy stood up but didn't move any further when Jasper glared at him, shot him a “Blake!” in greeting and then stomped in the direction of Clarke's room, kicking the door open. 

Monty and Bellamy following him.

 

Clarke didn't even flinch when the door to her room was kicked open. She didn't even turn around. Jasper hadn't been quiet about his entrance and Clarke had already been awaiting him. It was always the same. Clarke would be getting picked up by Octavia and Lincoln and the next day Jasper would come yell at her. 

 

Monty, though not yelling, was angry too. But he talked to her in this quiet and calm voice that was so  _Monty!_

 

Bellamy first thought Clarke's room was empty, which would have been strange considering the fact that she hadn't come out since she'd disappeared in it. But the other two strode over to a carpet on the wall. Confused Bellamy watched as Monty pulled it aside, revealing an entrance.

 

The room was small,  _very_ small and windowless. But there were a lot of lamps distributed in the small space. Paintings were leaning against the walls and stacks of maps and portfolios were lined up on one side.   
On the left wall, there was a shelf containing all sorts of brushes and paints and pencils.

 

The otherwise neat princess had kind of a little messy atelier. He had to smile at that.

 

Clarke was sitting on a cushion on the floor a canvas in front of her. Most part was still white but he could make out the black petals of a rose. He was pretty sure it was a rose. The picture remembered him of something which made him frown but he wasn't sure what it was at the moment.

 

But it didn't matter anyway for Jasper suddenly started yelling again.

 

“WHAT THE HELL CLARKE? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! EVERY WEEK, EVERY DAMN WEEK MAYA TELLS ME LINCOLN AND O HAD TO PICK YOU UP AGAIN. IF IT'S NOT THEM THAN IT'S ME AND MONTY AND I'M SO DONE WITH THAT. STOP BEING SUCH A COMPLETE MORON AND TRY TO SOMETIMES THINK OF YOUR OWN FUCKING HEALTH. IF THIS ISN'T A REASON FOR YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF THEN REMEMBER THAT WE ALL EVENTUALLY WILL DIE BECAUSE YOU'LL CAUSE US A FUCKING HEATR ATTACK!!!”

 

Jasper was left breathless and Bellamy watched stunned as Clarke slowly turned around, expression completely blank.

 

She locked eyes with Monty.

 

“Okay, Jas. Calm down. Screaming doesn't help, you know that.” Monty said soothingly.

 

Normally Jasper's outbursts weren't that bad but it seemed like she'd over-strained his patience this time. 

 

From the corner of her eye, she saw Bellamy eyeing Jasper widely. He seemed pretty shocked and Clarke had to suppress a grin. 

_Well Blake, didn't thought Jasper could be so terrifying, did you?_

 

Monty drew her attention back to him.

 

“Listen, Clarke. You know we're only concerned because we love you so much. We're family. You, Jasper and I, we are our own little family and we can't bear the thought that you're hurting yourself. You know that this much work isn't good for your health. I know we have this conversation almost weekly but seriously, something has to change. We're all so tired.”

 

And he sounded tired. Kind, loving Monty sounded so fucking exhausted and it was all her fault.

 

Ashamed Clarke let her gaze drop to the floor and sighed.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

It was only a whisper and Bellamy was stunned by how small her voice sounded and it made his heart ache for his roommate.

 

A ragged breath escaped Jasper and he knelt down next to her, Monty followed his example and Bellamy watched as both boys threw her arms around her and Clarke closed her eyes, letting them hold her. Her head rested on Jasper's shoulder and her finger's laced with Monty's.

 

They really seemed like a small family, like siblings. They reminded him of Octavia and himself when they'd been younger.

 

Clarke's eyes opened and her gaze met his. Bellamy couldn't avert his eyes from hers and just starred. And Clarke was starring right back.

 

It seemed like time had frozen only the soft tunes of _Debussy_ filling the silence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love all kinds of music and music will play a big role in the course of this fic. Just so you're warned :D
> 
> As always, tell me what you think.
> 
> Love you loads,  
> Kat xx


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone.  
> I'm back! Guys, I'm so sorry for the delay. Please forgive me!  
> Here is another flashback for you but it's rather short. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> WARNING: Mentioning of drug use at the end!

**~ Flashback ~**

Thursday.

It was already late afternoon when Clarke pulled up in front of the apartment complex.

It wasn't the first time that she had pulled up in front of the plain, grey, old building and it sure as hell wasn't the last time; now that she was here to move in.

The boxes that piled up in the back of her car were surprisingly little. One should of thought that she owned more stuff than that, but she didn't. Sure, there were still some boxes in O's car but those just contained her books. Most of them school books, containing medical, biological or chemical content. But also a few art books, and some of her favourite classic novels.

Octavia had said that she was bringing the boxes over in two hours. So for now, all Clarke had was her clothes, which weren't much either, and some other belongings.

She wasn't a girl that needed much, though there were a lot of people – who new where she came from – that thought otherwise.

Unfortunately her new roommate, Anya, wasn't home at the moment. She had called Clarke the other day and apologized for not being able to help her move in. Fortunately, Anya had already given her the keys to the apartment, when the two of them had met two weeks ago. There had been a sudden death in her family and she was driving out of state to attend the funeral.

Clarke's heart ached for the stoic woman.

When she had met Anya for the first time, the other woman had scared Clarke but she soon had noticed that they shared the same humour and quickly became some sort of friends.

Anyway, that's the reason why Clarke had to move all her stuff alone and up to the fourth floor of her new apartment building.

She was stacked with two boxes and tried to go up the stairs without letting them drop. Clarke made it to the third floor before the upper box decided to fall down. The noise that erupted form that made someone in apartment 3B open the door and poking their head out.

"Clarke?"

At the sound of her name, Clarke who had just tried to stuff her things back into the box, turned around to see a familiar head with dark hair and friendly brown eyes.

"Monty!" she smiled at the Korean boy.

"Why didn't you tell me you were moving in today?" he scolded her while coming over and helping picking up her belongings.

"I didn't want to bother you." And it wasn't a lie. Monty had done already enough for her. He was the reason that she had found the apartment in the first place. Clarke did not want to bother the guy even more. They didn't know each other very long.

"Don't be stupid, Clarke. I offered you my help and you know it. Come on. This is what friends are for. Don't tell me we aren't friends Griffin." he exclaimed in mock hurt but Clarke could also see that part of him really was afraid of her saying they weren't friends.

Clarke sighed. She really did like Monty. He was on of the good ones, which was surprising, considering his back story. The poor guy had been tortured enough in his young life – literally.

So she hugged him and kissed his cheek, her way of thanking him for everything he'd done for her and he blushed.

"Sorry Griffin but I already have a girlfriend." Monty said and she laughed.

"Hey, what's going on?" another voice asked.

Both of them turned around to see another head poking out from 3B.

"Hey Jas," Monty said. "This is Clarke, she's Anya's new roommate. Clarke meet Jasper Jordan, my best friend since kindergarten."

"Are you crazy?" Jasper asked while joining them outside. "Anya is scary af!"

"'Af'?" Clarke asked confused.

"As fuck." Monty offered an explanation. Clarke nodded.

"So you're the one from the support group. Monty always talks about you. Nice to finally meet you." he offered her his hand.

Clarke was surprised. She looked at Monty who just smiled at her and then she understood and warmth spread through her body and she felt tears form in her eyes but she held them back. Instead a warm smile appeared on her face and she took the hand Jasper had offered her.

With Jasper, Clarke didn't need to lie when she talked about where she knew Monty from. He wasn't judging her or thinking she might be crazy for going to the group meetings. He didn't seem to care about that at all.

"Nice to meet you, too, Jasper. I've heard a lot about you, too."

"Ha!" he yelled, pointing a finger at his best friend. "I'm probably all you're talking about at the support group. I'm just that awesome."

Monty shook his head at his friend but Clarke saw him grinning and she laughed.

The boys both offered her their help again and between the three of them they managed to bring all her boxes upstairs rather quickly.

Those two were crazy, Clarke quickly came to this conclusion. Most of the time they talked about things that they have blown up once – making her laugh.

At one point that evening, Octavia called and said that she couldn't make it and that she would come over the next day, but Clarke didn't care. She spent the rest of the day with the two goofballs from the apartment downstairs and they also invited her for dinner, promising Monty would cook one of his mom's Korean dishes.

They ate and laughed some more and at one point Jasper even lit a joint (they were growing their own weed) and they got high together and Clarke had fun.

It quickly became a tradition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This flashback played three years ago when Clarke was 23.
> 
> Thank y'all so much for reading. Tell me what you think.  
> I LOVE YOU!  
> -Kat xx

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, tell me what you think.
> 
> Love,  
> Kat xx
> 
> Ps. sorry for any mistakes this is not beta-d


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